Hailey decided to try playing volleyball this year. She seems to enjoy it and has been practicing her serving and volleying in the yard. So, as I walked into the gym to watch her play in her first game, I was filled with joy and anxiety all at the same time. As I glanced around the gym looking for her, I spotted her helping to set up chairs for the spectators. I walked right to her and gave her hug. She told me how nervous she was and in that moment I knew exactly how she was feeling. I gave her my best words of encouragement and sent her to join her team.
As a spectator at a middle school volleyball game, we sit up close and personal to the players, since our seats are around the perimeter of the gym. I was a bit nervous about being hit by a stray ball, but wanted to be as close to Hailey as possible. The game had not even started, but I was already so proud of her.
Hailey's team is a group of girls who are still working on perfecting their serve, growing their confidence to step in and hit the ball back over the net, and working together as a team. Their coach was on the sidelines encouraging the girls to work hard, do their best, and be confident.
As her team progressed through their three games, there were two girls on her team that used words to put down players who missed hitting a ball, made faces to each other when a teammate couldn't serve the ball over the net, and spoke meanly about other girls on the team to each other loud enough for the intended girl to hear their comments. It was "mean girls" at its best. All of my own awful middle school memories came rushing back and slammed me in the face. It was appalling to watch this happen and even more upsetting when their behavior was directly pointed at my daughter. Of course, the Mama Bear in me came rising up and I was planning how I would visit with Hailey's coach about what I observed.
As I ran through what I would say to the coach in my mind, I looked across the court to see Hailey speaking to the two mean girls on her team. She sat very still, looking them both in the eyes, and spoke with a serious look on her face. One of the mean girls responded to what Hailey said to them with facial expressions that shouted anger and body language that was fierce. Hailey sat calmly and listened and replied with a shrug and few words. Shortly after, Hailey stood up and had a conversation with her coach. The coach looked at the two mean girls. I was dying to know what was said and what I needed to do to stand up for my girl.
When you become a mom, you do not want anything to hurt your sweet babies. You want to protect them from any and all harm. No matter how old Hailey and Ezra get, I continue to have their backs and support them in what is right.
At the end of the game, I went over to Hailey and hugged her. The two of us walked to her locker and I was able to ask her what happened. She told me how mean the two girls were being to the other girls on her team. Hailey asked them why they were being mean to girls on their own team? She told them that was mean. Of course, one of the mean girls hurled back insults and justifications. Yet, Hailey responded by telling them that she didn't care if they liked her or not, but she would be nice to the girls on her team and encourage them to do their best. Then she told her coach what the two girls had been doing during the game.
WOW! I could not have been more proud about how Hailey dealt with this situation. There was no need for me to talk to her coach. What she did was better than any conversation I could have had with her coach. It made me realize that as a parent, we try to teach our kids all we can about being a positive, kind, giving, and compassionate person and one day we watch them put it into action.
